Don't Apologize

We see it over and over again, day after day. Practically every time you turn on the news, someone is asking someone else to apologize for something they said. This is a phenomenon that transcends political parties, race and gender, and it is a very foolish and misguided way of waging the battle of ideas.

There is a specific chain of faulty reasoning that can be pointed to here: "I am offended by what you said, therefore you should apologize." Not only does this miss the mark on the true purpose of apologies, a very noble and praiseworthy purpose I might add, but it effectively renders impotent a rather useful linguistic and social tool.

An apology is (or rather, was) used as a way of expressing regret and contrition for some act of wrongdoing. The entire point of such an admission is lost if it is issued under coercion or fear of reprisal. An apology is only worth making,or hearing,if it is voluntary and therefore sincere.

What I fail to understand is why anyone would want to receive an apology that is a blatant lie. Do such empty words really make people feel less offended, or that they have gained something? If you know the apology is insincere, doesn't that just add insult to injury?

Let me give an example from the news. As my readers will recall, comedian Jeneane Garofalo recently stated on MSNBC that all participants in the tax day Tea Parties were racists. This is obviously an ignorant and offensive statement, and she was asked to apologize. She refused, and for that, at least, I applaud her. Now let's be clear, I have no use for Garofalo, and I believe she has shown herself to be a hateful and uninformed person by her comments, but if she truly believes what she says, as I think she does, then she has nothing to be sorry for. One should never apologize for stating their heartfelt opinions, however stupid they may be.

As things stand, I think Garofalo a fool, but I don't think her a coward. This in contrast with the legions of politicians who have apologized under political pressure rather than because they were truly sorry. When you cave in to threats from the media or even public opinion, you will not make them like you, you merely add "lack of integrity"to the list of reasons why they didn't like you in the first place.

So don't apologize.Stand by your beliefs, however unpopular or politically incorrect they may be. You may not earn much love, but you will certainly earn respect, for the man of integrity is a rare one indeed.